Take Interest, Take Notice, Take ME with you.

I love going to this guys website. Ive mentioned him in my blog before. He is a music teacher for a school in New York. They Go by ps22chorus. I go there a lot because these kids that sing are truly amazing. They have so much passion and strength, I love it.

Lets say there is this ice cream flavor from Ben & Jerry's [Cherry Garcia] and as we all know that flavor has been out for quite some time. Its just rich and tasty and everyone is loving it. So lets say recently the company makes this new- hot flavor that everyone will love [ peanut butter fantasy]. Once everyone sees it they just love it. The weird this is, is that the new flavor isn't even advertised well, yet it still gets the taste buds of all America. The other weird thing is that this old flavor makes the effort to be sold and the new flavor sits in the freezer and gets sold out in a millisecond of catching the customers eye. The old flavor is still bought but not as much as peanut butter fantasy. It's not that they forget that Cherry Garcia is still on the aisle it's that its not the new crave. It becomes plain Jane.

Don't you just hate that?

These are the things that seperate you fom being a mature adult and making mistakes, what makes the difference is when you decide its important to change and if you care about yourself enough to actually do it... My roommate/my best friend shared that with me today. 

My life really isn't that hard, I just have a lot of upsets in life. Most people have learned to get over then or what makes them feel better from it, but for some reason I missed that lesson in primary or something. I have no idea how to calm myself from my anger or little upsets, as I may call them. I try Yoga, listening to music while hanging off my bed, screaming really loud.... nothing seems to feel that void of peace and calm feelings. Syd was giving me all this advice and help and I know all of it is true and seems very logical, I just don't know how to apply it and use it. Its not like math how when you learn an equation and a light bulb flickers and you just get it, Its like ferbies, They are so absurd and dumb but once you learn to shut it up....no never mind you still have no idea why ferbies exist. Another thing that really upsets me, is how some people can be so dumb that they don't even realize it....EVER. For example, a guy that you maybe, just maybe like, talks about other girls to you just so causally that its so dumb. They may not even realize their offense, but shouldn't they have the decency to get a hint that if the girl is making any kind of effort to talk to you, invite you to do things that they MAY like YOU. I am usually not the one to talk about this so openly but Its really bugging me a lot. To the point that I am giving up. So I'm done with them.

Blah Blah Blah. I'm an insomniac real bad. I have the worst sleeping schedule ever. You probably asking yourself: What the hell does Rachel do at night.....everyone's asleep? Answer: Dude I don't even know..... Anyway some kid was telling me about how most people, say 85%, lie more than 3 times when they talk. I'm not sure where he gets his information, but it sounds about right to me. Back in the day I used to be a compulsive liar. It was real bad like for instance, I told my cousin that in the 'Hit me baby one more time' Britney Spears video, that this girl that was but ugly was only in that video because she was a daughter of a producer of that video...............hahahha I made that up...but seriously, that doesn't even make me sound impressive. Or here's a funny one; I always wanted a younger sibling really bad, so one time I just randomly mentioned to my friend that I had a little sister that was in Kindergarden. So when you make up a lie you kinda have to follow through with it, so we were in choir singing and my friend asked where my sister was..... so i pointed to the cutest kid in the crowd and go: OH LOOK THATS HER, and I waved and she weirdly waved back. My friend later asked at my birthday party where she was and I always said something like;

Why do things get my down? I should probably ask why I get so frustrated so easily when something goes wrong. This month has been full of disappointments either towards my self or others. The ones that let me down are just proving me right that its harder to trust then. I know what they are capable of , yet i still want them there. I hate it. Having feeling like this. Why are there so many flakes every where, not the snowflakes either. 

Let me Repeat this LOUDLY: I don't need anymore boys that are friends. Reaally i don't. I have the perfect amount already. So what are you waiting for?

Okay so I've realized I really am the queen of procrastination. I win every time. It should make me upset but i doesn't I guess I've learned that thats who I am I can't try to be this Girl that always on top of things because thats just not my style I guess. Haha, wow I'm so waiting for syd to say Thats what she said any moment now. It was funny Chris came over last night, well at 1 am and we just talked about the dumbs in life, and we were talking about all the BEST "thats what she said" jokes. oh so funny so funny.

=

Is it selfish for me to hate being around you or seeing you? Is It ok for me to want you, need you? We are like oil and water. But don't worry, its only getting easier.

With a heart so pure
You could fall so quickly
Don’t you dare slow down for me

Were it not for hearts like mine
Calloused thickly
You could fall so easily
Don’t you dare slow down for me

You can take everything I have
Just don’t leave my side
No, don’t leave my side

You can take everything I have
Just don’t leave my side
No, don’t leave my side

Cause your words hit like a train

Cause your words hit like a train

Cause your words hit like a train

Cause your words hit like a train

So I'm sitting in the library with Whitney trying to write some paper about hurricane Ike and I see this kid putting his leg on top of the girls shoulder. freak, then I'm at kneaders[best panini's and soup ever] and these folks were of some race, talking really LOUD in their language. To add on he was groping her and she giggled and I was eating and almost threw up a little in my mouth. whats up with the Display of affection. We get it, you have S.E.X... You don't need to express that to everyone in the world.

Anyway. I'm really bored at the Library. and the more I look around I wonder, "what the hell" about everything. Like who wears shorts, long sleeves and UGGS? its Freaking winter. Or. Why do people that by putting flowers everywhere makes the atmosphere better. Did they ever stop to think that some people hate flowers or they are deathly allergic to them or that some people hate the color red? Or. Shouldn't people say "Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.[To be politically correct] Not everyone celebrates Christmas. I'm not sure why who wouldn't though because I love Christmas trees and Egg nog and candy canes and ugly sweaters with Santa and reindeer and Old Navy commericals. Who doesn't. My neighbors in Round rock are Jewish and even though I find there decorations strangely odd. I LOVE IT. They painted their door Bright Blue<> then they make a menorah with bright green pool noodles and they wrap lights around it and light one each night. They even painted their Neighborhood reindeer Bright Blue. Amazing. I love that in a world set on something like Christmas, they can still be them. I'm not saying I want to become Jewish though. I like sunbeams too much.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

• Goodnight and... go...

Why was the boy covered in gift wrap?

His mom told him to live in the present.

1. Take notice of the world around you. No matter what you're doing, try to find something beautiful around you. Maybe on your way to work or school, you go over a beautiful bridge, or you get a view of the sunrise behind the city buildings. Realizing these small things can bring life and happiness even to the most boring or routine days. Be thankful for those little things.
2. 

   
   Focus on whatever you're doing. Even if you're just walking, or wiping the counter, or shuffling cards - how does it feel? There's probably some kind of commentary spinning through your mind, and it probably has to do with something other than what you're doing. Let those thoughts go and focus on what is (not what was, or what could be). In Buddhism, this is referred to as mindfulness. Pay attention to your senses - touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste. Pretend it's the very last time you'll ever experience whatever you're experiencing. Have you ever been so engrossed in something that it seemed like the rest of the world just disappeared? Living in the moment is about creating that state of mind at any time. Slow down, and try to savor the present.
3. Smile when you wake up. You can set the tone of appreciation and awareness for the next 24 hours by simply waking up and smiling.^[1] Don't wake up with a groan and a smash of your alarm clock. There's scientific proof that the expressions that you make with your face can actually influence how you feel.^[2] In particular, true happiness is most closely tied to a Duchenne smile which involves smiling with your eyes, as well as your mouth.^[3]
4. Commit random, spontaneous acts of kindness. Whether it's donating 1 dollar to a fund at the pharmacy, picking up litter, or helping victims of natural disasters, keep alert in every moment of your day for some way in which you can make the world a better place. Even the smallest thing, like complimenting someone, can bring joy. It's the most spontaneous and unexpected acts of kindness that produce the greatest impact, and you can't be sensitive to those kinds of opportunities unless you're living in the moment.
5. Minimize activities that dull your awareness of the moment. What are you doing that tempts your mind to run away from the present? For most people, watching television puts you in a passive state of mind, and time slips right by. Daydreaming and getting lost in a good movie or book isn't bad, but it's not living in the moment because it places your concentration on something that isn't right here, right now; it's a form of escapism. Don't zone out; zone in. Do things that are active, and that encourage you to look around and engage the world in that moment. Gardening, playing a game, knitting, and playing an instrument are all activities that lend themselves to mindfulness. So get off the computer after reading this article! http://www.wikihow.com/Live-in-the-Moment

I catalog these steps now
Decisive and intentioned
precise and patterned specifically to yours.
I'm talented at breathing
Especially exhaling
So that my chest will rise and fall with yours

I'm careful not to wake you
Fearing conversation
It's better just to hold you
And keep you pacified
I'm talented with reason
I cover all the angles
I can fail before I ever try

Try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)

I am fairly agile
I can bend and not break
Or I can break and take it with a smile
And I am so resilient
I recover quickly
I'll convince you soon that I am fine

Try to understand there's and old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)
Wont you hold me now (For you I rise, for you I fall)

Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you
Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you, to you

And try to understand there's and old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
So wont you hold me now?
Wont you hold me now?
Now, now, now, now, now
- DB

I VOTED! It was stressful but I did it. And even though I live in Utah and the state is pretty much all republican, I'm still glad I voted. I did my part. I'm American.


So a funny thing happened monday night at FHE. First off, I was not excited to go because I didn't really know anyone in my group except my roommates, but I went anyway. So we played this game were you just pretty much introduce yourself and say something unique about yourself. I, like always say that I'm adopted and my new roommate whose name is Rachel gasped "Me too!!!" so she asked where and I said "louisiana" and she gasped again and said" ME TOO!!!!!!" and you can kind of guess what happens next. Turns out we both we born in Baton Rouge!!!! insane right. Two girls named Rachel both adopted from the same city living together! We both went crazy. Laughing and crying at the same time. I loved it. After FHE we immedietly called our moms to tell the news. I'm glad I finally feel like I've found my place here in Provo.
I love my roommates.

So I want to be like Elyse in that i want to write 77 blogs posts. so my goal is to write a blog everyday this week!!! and then some in the middle. So tomorrow is the big day the 2008 presidential election!!!! My mom doesn't think i will vote. She's explaining that by me voting, I'm leaving my fingerprint in life. This election will make history. Meaning who every takes office is going to change the economy for the better or the worse. I'm kind of excited for Tuesday, I will be fun.
NEXT......
So I'm really not liking college. I mean that Ihate taking pointless classes that I learn the things I already know. I'm not saying that I know everything but all my GE classes are really boring. I sit there and just have to suck it up.

I hate that feeling that you can't do anything about your life. like its on pause and nothing good/or bad is happening. For the past 3 days I've felt like that. Being sick makes you want to enjoy things longer and more often because in that moment of being sick you cant do anything but feel sorry for yourself. When you're sick everyone talks to you in a baby voice like that when you're sick you turn into some baby, because as said before you cant do anything for yourself. The only good thing about being sick is that you can be super lazy and wear the clothes you wore yesterday and no one is going to nag on you. They understand. When your sick you hallucinate. For instance, last night i watched every cw show that I've missed for the past 3 weeks [so I'm happy to say- IM ALL CAUGHT UP!!!!] So anyway I watched at least 5 hours of Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and 90210 and I kept looking at the clock and it would always show 1:12 then 3 hours later it was 12:12, I freaked out. How was that possible huh?! Yeah crazy. So another thing you do when you're sick. make lists. like what I want to accomplish this week or year
THINGS I WANT TO DO THIS WEEK.

• Go to every single class this week
• Don't be afraid of rejection or acceptance
• Smile more
• Call the parentals more and tell them "I love y'all"
• Laugh over the silly unimportant things
• Remember who I am when I walk out the door
• Think of others in my doings
• Stop being a paranoia freak
• Think before asking questions or making comments
• Love the skin I'm in