So This is B money. he is in love with sydney. i dont know why he wouldn't because she is un REAL. and i love her too. who doesnt. i LOVE SYDNEY. bye.
Really Utah!!!?? Really
This is what Provo, Utah looks like today, April 15th 2009. This is a problem for sure. I woke up and it was snowing, A LOT. I called my Mom to tell her the horrible news and she just laughed for about 5 minutes. I was hopping for sympathy. Nope nothing. haha. I don't feel like doing anything but sleeping and playing Mario Kart. so To Wii we go.
Fix you. Fix me please
when I feel like I don't know what to do, I listen to Coldplay or Dashboard and hopefully think I can fix things.
When you try your best, but you don't succeed
When you get what you want, but not what you need
When you feel so tired, but you can't sleep
- Stuck in reverse
And the tears come streaming down your face
When you lose something you can't replace
When you love someone, but it goes to waste
Could it be worse?
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
And high up above or down below
When you're too in love to let it go
But if you never try you'll never know
Just what you're worth
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
Tears stream down your face
When you lose something you cannot replace
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Tears stream down on your face
I promise you I will learn from my mistakes
Tears stream down your face
And I...
Lights will guide you home
And ignite your bones
And I will try to fix you
blahhhh
shoes. I'm not really a shoe person but I sure do love these. red. white and blue and crocodiles. my favorite things.
This weather here in Utah is killing me. I'm getting depressed and I'm hating where I am right now. I need new friends, a job, new teeth, and new hair. Hopefully I will have checked them all off by the end of April. What I'm hating most is where I am living. I hate going into my apartment and hating being there. There are only about three people in there that don't piss me off constantly. You would think its just that time of the month that I'm just really irritable and a bee but I'm like that all the time now. I really dont mean to but I think I'm just stuck in a Hell Hole that its just normal for me to be like this. You know there are some voices that are like screeching birds and you want to strangle them that sounds like that. Those people are around me a lot . Do I have a sign that says "annoy Rachel or Michele or whatever her name is." I really shouldn't be rude over the internet because like mom says "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all.".....I do have other great friends new and old, but I guess now that I'm getting older, It's getting harder to tell which ones are my true friends. I hate that. Hate it.
Roses are red and pink and orange...and brown?
Look at the roses my dad send me on valentines! They are so pretty and its April and they are still blooming. It's like my own mini Love fern/rose. If you nurish something, it will be beautiful forever. ok I just made that up and It really doesn't make sense, oh well. I look at it every day and miss my family a lot everyday. My newphews are getting more and more precious. I just want to sqeeze them and hold them and steel them and take me them to Utah with me. Maybe that will win over then guys here........
Go Green.
bahah hello my name is Rachel Michele and I go to Utah valley University. My GPA is not there and It is NOT getting Higher. The professors there are really nice especially the Mexican rice.The food tastes like butt and the Hall of Flags are full of sluts. Sweet bros and bra faces on there long boards and Utah poofs everywhere. blah. Is this school really for me. Is school at all for me????
Bloggers welcome.
YAY. My sister got a blog....because I told her too and because she loves me and I love her and My newest nephews!!! Kingston and London Polson. They are probably the cutest babies I have ever seen, I'm not just saying this because they are my nephews, its Just true and fact.
They are just so cute and I get to go see them this wednesday!!^^^They look like little men. Ever seen that movie" The curious case of Benjamin button". Yea so cute. Because technology is amazing, I got to see these two when they were just born and the whole week through skype.
As I got the Facebook notification that my sister had written on my wall, I started this blog...prolonging my time in the library for my ethics test tomorrow. The library and I have a love hate relationship. I love going because I see everyone but then I hate it because that means I'm at BYU and I walk around and feel so out of place becuase a. I am NOT a zoobie and b..... I'm not a ZOOBIE. My roommate Tawnie is going to BYU for the summer and she is like me, in that BYU is not the school for her. But unlike me she will be saving a lot of money because BYU is cheaper and UVU has out of state tution(by the way is about 3,000 more than a Utah resident. How lame!!!!
Ok I have a goal to be out of this joint by 10:00........Crap.
Take it in for all its worth.
I love going to this guys website. Ive mentioned him in my blog before. He is a music teacher for a school in New York. They Go by ps22chorus. I go there a lot because these kids that sing are truly amazing. They have so much passion and strength, I love it.
Still awake and well.
Lets say there is this ice cream flavor from Ben & Jerry's [Cherry Garcia] and as we all know that flavor has been out for quite some time. Its just rich and tasty and everyone is loving it. So lets say recently the company makes this new- hot flavor that everyone will love [ peanut butter fantasy]. Once everyone sees it they just love it. The weird this is, is that the new flavor isn't even advertised well, yet it still gets the taste buds of all America. The other weird thing is that this old flavor makes the effort to be sold and the new flavor sits in the freezer and gets sold out in a millisecond of catching the customers eye. The old flavor is still bought but not as much as peanut butter fantasy. It's not that they forget that Cherry Garcia is still on the aisle it's that its not the new crave. It becomes plain Jane.
Don't you just hate that?
Just another hate post
These are the things that seperate you fom being a mature adult and making mistakes, what makes the difference is when you decide its important to change and if you care about yourself enough to actually do it... My roommate/my best friend shared that with me today.
My life really isn't that hard, I just have a lot of upsets in life. Most people have learned to get over then or what makes them feel better from it, but for some reason I missed that lesson in primary or something. I have no idea how to calm myself from my anger or little upsets, as I may call them. I try Yoga, listening to music while hanging off my bed, screaming really loud.... nothing seems to feel that void of peace and calm feelings. Syd was giving me all this advice and help and I know all of it is true and seems very logical, I just don't know how to apply it and use it. Its not like math how when you learn an equation and a light bulb flickers and you just get it, Its like ferbies, They are so absurd and dumb but once you learn to shut it up....no never mind you still have no idea why ferbies exist. Another thing that really upsets me, is how some people can be so dumb that they don't even realize it....EVER. For example, a guy that you maybe, just maybe like, talks about other girls to you just so causally that its so dumb. They may not even realize their offense, but shouldn't they have the decency to get a hint that if the girl is making any kind of effort to talk to you, invite you to do things that they MAY like YOU. I am usually not the one to talk about this so openly but Its really bugging me a lot. To the point that I am giving up. So I'm done with them.
Never-ending disaster
Please don't offer any sympathy
The words I hear, lack much of a symphony
Drums play the beats and trumpets sing the notes
Plug in the earphones and listen to me sing.
Hear me. Love me.
Unlock the door, with written scribbles of answers.
I'll only wait till the digital numbers tick faster
Once its at zero, my heart might break or turn into plaster.
This is my never ending disaster.
Its hard to breathe this toxic air that's filled with your lurid thoughts
Just look at the tree, filled with our memories, wrought
as they fall to the ground, don't try to pick them up
Please don't be the hero your not
Don't belittle my actions or twist my reactions
It as simple as addition and subtraction
Take you out of my life, equals guaranteed satisfaction.
I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves.......
Blah Blah Blah. I'm an insomniac real bad. I have the worst sleeping schedule ever. You probably asking yourself: What the hell does Rachel do at night.....everyone's asleep? Answer: Dude I don't even know..... Anyway some kid was telling me about how most people, say 85%, lie more than 3 times when they talk. I'm not sure where he gets his information, but it sounds about right to me. Back in the day I used to be a compulsive liar. It was real bad like for instance, I told my cousin that in the 'Hit me baby one more time' Britney Spears video, that this girl that was but ugly was only in that video because she was a daughter of a producer of that video...............hahahha I made that up...but seriously, that doesn't even make me sound impressive. Or here's a funny one; I always wanted a younger sibling really bad, so one time I just randomly mentioned to my friend that I had a little sister that was in Kindergarden. So when you make up a lie you kinda have to follow through with it, so we were in choir singing and my friend asked where my sister was..... so i pointed to the cutest kid in the crowd and go: OH LOOK THATS HER, and I waved and she weirdly waved back. My friend later asked at my birthday party where she was and I always said something like;
oh she's sick or she does pageants so shes in Florida............... I was so weird. Now occasionally, I will fib a little but only to protect others........GO SPURS GO
I've been waiting for Spurs to come to Utah since last year and today is the day!!!! I have to admit i haven't been my normal self as an avid fan since school has taken over my life. BUT I'm still a HUGE fan. I think I'll wear my Spurs jersey to FHE tonight. Only appropriate right? Stupid Lakers ruined spurs winning streak. But don't worry, the Jazz will be defeated.
Your not even that special.
I hate that you made me like you.
Your immature.
Your fake.
Your a liar.
You made me think I'm useless.
You took interest without taking notice or taking me with you.
You used me.
Made me angry.
Then made me realize.
I'm better.
I'm me.
I am who I am tomorrow and the next day and forever
I actually know what I want.
They all said I could do better; they were so right.
You don't deserve me.
Or this letter.
Or those wasted moments I thought of you.
It's the end of the end
I'm over it.
Why do things get my down? I should probably ask why I get so frustrated so easily when something goes wrong. This month has been full of disappointments either towards my self or others. The ones that let me down are just proving me right that its harder to trust then. I know what they are capable of , yet i still want them there. I hate it. Having feeling like this. Why are there so many flakes every where, not the snowflakes either.
yadadamean?
Let me Repeat this LOUDLY: I don't need anymore boys that are friends. Reaally i don't. I have the perfect amount already. So what are you waiting for?
Okay so I've realized I really am the queen of procrastination. I win every time. It should make me upset but i doesn't I guess I've learned that thats who I am I can't try to be this Girl that always on top of things because thats just not my style I guess. Haha, wow I'm so waiting for syd to say Thats what she said any moment now. It was funny Chris came over last night, well at 1 am and we just talked about the dumbs in life, and we were talking about all the BEST "thats what she said" jokes. oh so funny so funny.
=
yeah. ok. yup. me too
Is it selfish for me to hate being around you or seeing you? Is It ok for me to want you, need you? We are like oil and water. But don't worry, its only getting easier.
what is going through my little head
With a heart so pure
You could fall so quickly
Don’t you dare slow down for me
Were it not for hearts like mine
Calloused thickly
You could fall so easily
Don’t you dare slow down for me
You can take everything I have
Just don’t leave my side
No, don’t leave my side
You can take everything I have
Just don’t leave my side
No, don’t leave my side
Cause your words hit like a train
And I can’t ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love
And I’m running after
You move way too fast
But don’t slow down
And don’t let go
Hold me closer now
They say I don’t know how to love the right way
But you make me feel
You make me feel like I do
You can take everything I have
Just don’t leave my side
No, don’t leave my side
Cause your words hit like a train
And I can’t ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love
And I’m running after
You move way too fast
Cause your words hit like a train
And I can’t ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love
And I’m running after
You move way too fast
Don’t slow down
Cause your words hit like a train
And I can’t ignore it
This moment could be our last
You fall in love
And I’m running after
You move way too fast
-copeland,
Don't Slow Down
LIbrary is a cooky place to show pda
So I'm sitting in the library with Whitney trying to write some paper about hurricane Ike and I see this kid putting his leg on top of the girls shoulder. freak, then I'm at kneaders[best panini's and soup ever] and these folks were of some race, talking really LOUD in their language. To add on he was groping her and she giggled and I was eating and almost threw up a little in my mouth. whats up with the Display of affection. We get it, you have S.E.X... You don't need to express that to everyone in the world.
Anyway. I'm really bored at the Library. and the more I look around I wonder, "what the hell" about everything. Like who wears shorts, long sleeves and UGGS? its Freaking winter. Or. Why do people that by putting flowers everywhere makes the atmosphere better. Did they ever stop to think that some people hate flowers or they are deathly allergic to them or that some people hate the color red? Or. Shouldn't people say "Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.[To be politically correct] Not everyone celebrates Christmas. I'm not sure why who wouldn't though because I love Christmas trees and Egg nog and candy canes and ugly sweaters with Santa and reindeer and Old Navy commericals. Who doesn't. My neighbors in Round rock are Jewish and even though I find there decorations strangely odd. I LOVE IT. They painted their door Bright Blue<> then they make a menorah with bright green pool noodles and they wrap lights around it and light one each night. They even painted their Neighborhood reindeer Bright Blue. Amazing. I love that in a world set on something like Christmas, they can still be them. I'm not saying I want to become Jewish though. I like sunbeams too much.
Its possible to dream the impossible.
A lot of times I feel like my life's a movie. I don't mean that I eat cake and walk on water. I think I mean that, I would have never expected my life to be like this. Or to be less dramatic, this year even. Every thing has gone pretty much how its suppose to be. Except for the school part. Which brings me to my other thought. I'm not sure that I like school. Everyone dislikes it I know, but I really don't like it. I think its a waste of my time and money. I love learning new things and I pretty much do every minute of my life. Like that whales can grow up to 30 feet and their teeth can be as long as 12 feet! or when your car is covered in ice and snow, its not the best idea to leave 10 minutes before class starts. Try 35 minutes next time. or never invite someone over that you don't really want to be there. what a thought huh. So I learn things. Why do I need to pay people to teach me what I can learn on my own? I really am trying to grasp this whole school thing but my alias wants to go on an airplane to Africa. I sometimes wonder if im at this place of learning called UVU just to please the parentals. Hopefully this coming semester I can figure that out.
Another thought. Why can't people pick up their feet when they walk from point a to point b? There are 3 floors of apartments and I live on the first. I'm not sure who lives above me, I think i've seen them a couple times to notice they are not abnormally overweight. I make this point because I can here them walk around the apartment, when they wake up, when they pee, and everything else. The
y don't just walk, they stomp everywhere, and it drives me insane. At this very moment, I can actually see the celling shake while making sounds. King Henry. There's nothing to say about it. Only that I have the most amazing roommates ever. I really am stoked that they are in my life.
Another thought. Why can't people pick up their feet when they walk from point a to point b? There are 3 floors of apartments and I live on the first. I'm not sure who lives above me, I think i've seen them a couple times to notice they are not abnormally overweight. I make this point because I can here them walk around the apartment, when they wake up, when they pee, and everything else. The
y don't just walk, they stomp everywhere, and it drives me insane. At this very moment, I can actually see the celling shake while making sounds. King Henry. There's nothing to say about it. Only that I have the most amazing roommates ever. I really am stoked that they are in my life. Goodnight and Go...
Skipping beats,
Blushing cheeks.I am... struggling..
Daydreaming,
Bed scenes in... the corner cafe
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic... tremblings
You get me every time.
And then I'm left in bits recovering tectonic... tremblings
You get me every time.
Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.
Follow you home,
You've got your headphones on
And you're dancing
Got lucky;
Beautiful shot:
You're taking everything off
Watch the curtains wide open
And you're following the same routine;
Filcking through the TV, relaxed and reclining
And you think you're alone..
- Oh, why'd ya have to be so cute?
- It's impossible to ignore you,
- Must you make me laugh so much?
- It's bad enough we get along so well..
- Say goodnight and go.
One of these days,
You'll miss your train,And come stay with me...
We'll have drinks,
And talk about things and,
Any excuse to stay awake with you...
You'll sleep here,
I'll sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience...
We'd be good,
We'd be great together...
And talk about things and,
Any excuse to stay awake with you...
You'll sleep here,
I'll sleep there,
But then the heating may be down again,
At my convenience...
We'd be good,
We'd be great together...
Go
Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you,
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.
Why's it always always:
goodnight and go?
Oh, Darling not again,
- Goodnight and... go...
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