Take Interest, Take Notice, Take ME with you.

With a heart so pure
You could fall so quickly
Don’t you dare slow down for me

Were it not for hearts like mine
Calloused thickly
You could fall so easily
Don’t you dare slow down for me

You can take everything I have
Just don’t leave my side
No, don’t leave my side

You can take everything I have
Just don’t leave my side
No, don’t leave my side

Cause your words hit like a train

Cause your words hit like a train

Cause your words hit like a train

Cause your words hit like a train

So I'm sitting in the library with Whitney trying to write some paper about hurricane Ike and I see this kid putting his leg on top of the girls shoulder. freak, then I'm at kneaders[best panini's and soup ever] and these folks were of some race, talking really LOUD in their language. To add on he was groping her and she giggled and I was eating and almost threw up a little in my mouth. whats up with the Display of affection. We get it, you have S.E.X... You don't need to express that to everyone in the world.

Anyway. I'm really bored at the Library. and the more I look around I wonder, "what the hell" about everything. Like who wears shorts, long sleeves and UGGS? its Freaking winter. Or. Why do people that by putting flowers everywhere makes the atmosphere better. Did they ever stop to think that some people hate flowers or they are deathly allergic to them or that some people hate the color red? Or. Shouldn't people say "Happy Holidays instead of Merry Christmas.[To be politically correct] Not everyone celebrates Christmas. I'm not sure why who wouldn't though because I love Christmas trees and Egg nog and candy canes and ugly sweaters with Santa and reindeer and Old Navy commericals. Who doesn't. My neighbors in Round rock are Jewish and even though I find there decorations strangely odd. I LOVE IT. They painted their door Bright Blue<> then they make a menorah with bright green pool noodles and they wrap lights around it and light one each night. They even painted their Neighborhood reindeer Bright Blue. Amazing. I love that in a world set on something like Christmas, they can still be them. I'm not saying I want to become Jewish though. I like sunbeams too much.

Why'd ya have to be so cute?
It's impossible to ignore you..
Must you make me laugh so much?
It's bad enough we get along so well..
Say goodnight and go.

• Goodnight and... go...

Why was the boy covered in gift wrap?

His mom told him to live in the present.

1. Take notice of the world around you. No matter what you're doing, try to find something beautiful around you. Maybe on your way to work or school, you go over a beautiful bridge, or you get a view of the sunrise behind the city buildings. Realizing these small things can bring life and happiness even to the most boring or routine days. Be thankful for those little things.
2. 

   
   Focus on whatever you're doing. Even if you're just walking, or wiping the counter, or shuffling cards - how does it feel? There's probably some kind of commentary spinning through your mind, and it probably has to do with something other than what you're doing. Let those thoughts go and focus on what is (not what was, or what could be). In Buddhism, this is referred to as mindfulness. Pay attention to your senses - touch, sight, smell, sound, and taste. Pretend it's the very last time you'll ever experience whatever you're experiencing. Have you ever been so engrossed in something that it seemed like the rest of the world just disappeared? Living in the moment is about creating that state of mind at any time. Slow down, and try to savor the present.
3. Smile when you wake up. You can set the tone of appreciation and awareness for the next 24 hours by simply waking up and smiling.^[1] Don't wake up with a groan and a smash of your alarm clock. There's scientific proof that the expressions that you make with your face can actually influence how you feel.^[2] In particular, true happiness is most closely tied to a Duchenne smile which involves smiling with your eyes, as well as your mouth.^[3]
4. Commit random, spontaneous acts of kindness. Whether it's donating 1 dollar to a fund at the pharmacy, picking up litter, or helping victims of natural disasters, keep alert in every moment of your day for some way in which you can make the world a better place. Even the smallest thing, like complimenting someone, can bring joy. It's the most spontaneous and unexpected acts of kindness that produce the greatest impact, and you can't be sensitive to those kinds of opportunities unless you're living in the moment.
5. Minimize activities that dull your awareness of the moment. What are you doing that tempts your mind to run away from the present? For most people, watching television puts you in a passive state of mind, and time slips right by. Daydreaming and getting lost in a good movie or book isn't bad, but it's not living in the moment because it places your concentration on something that isn't right here, right now; it's a form of escapism. Don't zone out; zone in. Do things that are active, and that encourage you to look around and engage the world in that moment. Gardening, playing a game, knitting, and playing an instrument are all activities that lend themselves to mindfulness. So get off the computer after reading this article! http://www.wikihow.com/Live-in-the-Moment

I catalog these steps now
Decisive and intentioned
precise and patterned specifically to yours.
I'm talented at breathing
Especially exhaling
So that my chest will rise and fall with yours

I'm careful not to wake you
Fearing conversation
It's better just to hold you
And keep you pacified
I'm talented with reason
I cover all the angles
I can fail before I ever try

Try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)

I am fairly agile
I can bend and not break
Or I can break and take it with a smile
And I am so resilient
I recover quickly
I'll convince you soon that I am fine

Try to understand there's and old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
Wont you hold me now (I will not bend I will not break)
Wont you hold me now (For you I rise, for you I fall)

Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you
Just hold me close to you, just hold me close to you, to you

And try to understand there's and old mistake that fools will make
And I'm the king of them, pushing everything that's good away
So wont you hold me now?
Wont you hold me now?
Now, now, now, now, now
- DB

I VOTED! It was stressful but I did it. And even though I live in Utah and the state is pretty much all republican, I'm still glad I voted. I did my part. I'm American.


So a funny thing happened monday night at FHE. First off, I was not excited to go because I didn't really know anyone in my group except my roommates, but I went anyway. So we played this game were you just pretty much introduce yourself and say something unique about yourself. I, like always say that I'm adopted and my new roommate whose name is Rachel gasped "Me too!!!" so she asked where and I said "louisiana" and she gasped again and said" ME TOO!!!!!!" and you can kind of guess what happens next. Turns out we both we born in Baton Rouge!!!! insane right. Two girls named Rachel both adopted from the same city living together! We both went crazy. Laughing and crying at the same time. I loved it. After FHE we immedietly called our moms to tell the news. I'm glad I finally feel like I've found my place here in Provo.
I love my roommates.

So I want to be like Elyse in that i want to write 77 blogs posts. so my goal is to write a blog everyday this week!!! and then some in the middle. So tomorrow is the big day the 2008 presidential election!!!! My mom doesn't think i will vote. She's explaining that by me voting, I'm leaving my fingerprint in life. This election will make history. Meaning who every takes office is going to change the economy for the better or the worse. I'm kind of excited for Tuesday, I will be fun.
NEXT......
So I'm really not liking college. I mean that Ihate taking pointless classes that I learn the things I already know. I'm not saying that I know everything but all my GE classes are really boring. I sit there and just have to suck it up.

I hate that feeling that you can't do anything about your life. like its on pause and nothing good/or bad is happening. For the past 3 days I've felt like that. Being sick makes you want to enjoy things longer and more often because in that moment of being sick you cant do anything but feel sorry for yourself. When you're sick everyone talks to you in a baby voice like that when you're sick you turn into some baby, because as said before you cant do anything for yourself. The only good thing about being sick is that you can be super lazy and wear the clothes you wore yesterday and no one is going to nag on you. They understand. When your sick you hallucinate. For instance, last night i watched every cw show that I've missed for the past 3 weeks [so I'm happy to say- IM ALL CAUGHT UP!!!!] So anyway I watched at least 5 hours of Gossip Girl, One Tree Hill and 90210 and I kept looking at the clock and it would always show 1:12 then 3 hours later it was 12:12, I freaked out. How was that possible huh?! Yeah crazy. So another thing you do when you're sick. make lists. like what I want to accomplish this week or year
THINGS I WANT TO DO THIS WEEK.

• Go to every single class this week
• Don't be afraid of rejection or acceptance
• Smile more
• Call the parentals more and tell them "I love y'all"
• Laugh over the silly unimportant things
• Remember who I am when I walk out the door
• Think of others in my doings
• Stop being a paranoia freak
• Think before asking questions or making comments
• Love the skin I'm in

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
i don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried, and i don't know why...

Slow it down, make it stop
Or else my heart is going to pop
'Cause it's too much, yeah it's a lot
To be something i'm not
I'm a fool out of love
'Cause i just can't get enough...

I'm just a little bit caught in the middle
Life is a maze and love is a riddle
i don't know where to go, can't do it alone
I've tried, and i don't know why
I'm just a little girl lost in the moment
I'm so scared but i don't show it
I can't figure it out, it's bringing me down
I know i've got to let it go...
And just enjoy the show

The sun is hot in the sky
Just like a giant spotlight
The people follow the signs
And synchronise in time
It's a joke, nobody knows
They've got a ticket to the show....

(i want my money back, just enjoy the show)

-Lenka

So a lot has happened since ACC classes ended. I wake up at 12 am everyday. Its a bittersweet relationship I have with my bed; I love sleeping in it, but when Im there too long I end up feeling like a waste in Rachel world.  Note to self: get up at 10 everyday, and NOT go to bed after 4 am. Lets see, the 4th of July was a blast. Fun with the family, friends and Carla. I love that girl, I wish I could be more carefree like her. Next week was the 12 hours that never happened. There's pretty much nothing else to say other than, we left Austin at 8 p.m and left San Antonio at 8 a.m the next morning. Hm. There was this singles dance that was somewhat fun. Actually it really wasn't, we just had to make it fun, which is why i love how my friends are. They don't get grumpy when something ends up lame, they change it and make it fun. Last week, Bronwen, Kyria and I played Rockband for 6 hours straight. Yeah. Then everyday after it became the norm: Work, eat, come to Rachel's and play Rockband. That was probably one of the fun-est weeks  of this summer so far. This week is going by super slow. Maybe its because the hours I stay up late at night add on to the hours of the next day. Or maybe its because all i can think about it Utah. Im so ready to be at my "home" away from home. 

[Start of update- So first off.... 5 1/2 week school courses= Death!!!! school is killing me softly. GOOD THING ITS ALMOST OVER WITH!!!! Any way Kyria comes back from Hawaii today and my mom comes back from Florida today.... wow everyone is going everywhere but me. I guess i just have to wait it out till Washington D.C/NYC August 8Th 2008!! Hopefully I will be styling withOUT my braces and WITH my veneers..........We will see i will keep you up date. OH Bubby[Brian Pando] got his mission call to Barcelona, Spain!! How crazy BH [Braeden Hyatt] just got his call to Malaga, Spain!! Speaking of missions, my cousin decided to go on his mission to New york. I'm way happy for him!!!-End of update.] So my new obsessions, first its
 

I bought her fragrance that I've wanted for a while and I love it. I have always been a fan of hers because her clothes are so funky and fresh. ha ha. She definantly been a major influence in fashion. My second new obsession is the Chris Brown With You cover by Ingram Hill

I'm so in love with this remake, no but seriously. So third obsession are these cupcakes from heaven, actually from a local Austin company called Toot sweet cupcakes. Seriously they are the best cupcakes ever. Please go check them out.

I'm sorry but I can't stand him. I am a huge Spurs fan but since they didn't make it I'm going for the Celtis I really hope they when game 6 so far its BOS 29 LAL 24!! Go Celtics Today was such a lazy day I wake up go to the ortho and they tell me I need to wear my rubber bands more.... blah blah. Then I beat my self up beause if I had just worn my bands everyday I could have had my braces off plus maybe had my veneers on..!! Then I went to math only because we didn't have english today. Today in Austin it was like 101 outside so Matt and I went to barton
springs!! It was way cold but it felt so good. Peace out from sk3

Summer school I thought would be so easy. boy was I wrong. Acc has taken over my life, literally, i wake up at 8:30 which to others may seem like a reasonable time, but for me its still way to early. at least for summer for a 19 year old, come on!! so i have english for 1 hour an a half not bad then MATH from 1:10 till 3:45 its killer and the worst part is is that its not hard stuff, its actually quite easy, its just really time consuming, with the stupid linear equations and sucky polynomials or trinomials or whatever. and to add to the boring-ness of the class the teacher has an accent. there is not at all wrong with accents but anyone who has taken a class from a professor with an accent knows that it can be hard to focus when they say three and it sounds like tree. "what do trees have to do with math" is what i end up thinking instead of "what the heck is y=mx+b?". Other than school my social life has hit a very low peak, meaning i have no social life. yes i do have the occasional poker nights at elysemo's or the boys at 1031, or flight of the concord viewing with ely/tmi or aubster, but other weirdly i like it. I went to see dont mess with Zohan with my dad [which by the way was HORRIBLE] and it was fun and it was a friday. I began to remember those times when i was mortified to been seen with the parentals,[especially on a weekend] but now i dont mind it at all. maybe its just a stage every kid goes through??? back to the whole liking not being a social butterfly, i guess i needed to put that on pause, so i could do the important things and not miss out by partying. hmmm

so wow, i was going though my old photos and i found a class photo from kindergarden so I look up my friends that i remembered and i found them. its so weird all of them kind of remember me but not really its sad. I asked my mom why i remembered so much of my 3 year old life and she said it was probably because it was my first time in the states so everything was my first. My best friend Maura i found her so we were reminiscing about our fun times and everything and then i found some other kids. Facebook is so amazing isnt it! everyone has it. Even my mom does, or she did. I later found out that the only reason she got a facebook was to find me and see if I was still alive, because I didn't answer her calls, lead her to believe i was dead? funny?, i know. College does that to people. its everyones first to be out on there own and try new things, i guess they just disappear of the face of the earth, momentarily. i think calling my mom and dad everyday would be hard because i would miss them even more and them calling me every day made it harder to start life on my own. BUt then again i should be better at returning calls. EKK .

funny SNL skit!!

The first amazing thing in life is the power of song. I was on PEREZHILTON.COM of course since its a daily thing i do, and he posted this video of school choir in NYC called the PS22 chorus.[check out his blog HERE]. These kids are absolutely amazing. listening to them sing just gives me the chills.[look at the kid at 1:50, his passion loves it.]

The second amazing thing in life is how talking out feeling can help so much. I had a friend that lived down the hall from me come over last night and we just talked about life and what was bothering us and be both would have gasps of "OMG I feel the same way" and it is great how I feel after "venting" it out. Its something everyone should do! 

The third amazing thing in life is change. My mom called me last night to tell me she was coming to Utah so she could drive back to Atx with me. I am of course ecstatic to be coming home, but for a brief 2 hours I had this overwhelming sense of sorrow like "I'm not ready to leave, Utah's my home" i didn't know what to do or understand why I was feeling this way. But of course I realized Im feeling the need for change and that I know its something i have to deal with!

The Fourth amazing thing in life is Evian water spray. I usually get it at Ulta but Utah doesn't even have that here, but anyway its amazing it is just a spray can that does wonders. You can use it where ever when ever. and it just hydrates the skin. I love it.  You can get it pretty much anywhere like Ulta, sephora, Nordstroms, or Wallgreens .

So today was a sad day: Elyse left to go back to ATX. I know i get to see her in a week but. this past month, we spend everyday together and then just not hanging for a week will be hard. It was weird because I remember helping her move into the house she just moved out of. It kind of felt like a movie helping her pack, I was just sitting there with the sad happy music in the background already missing that house i was sitting in. Leaving Utah is going to be bittersweet. I'm so ready to go back home and just enjoy summer and be with the people I love most, but then deep down inside I want something new. I was watching "Up Town Girls" with Brittany Murphy[One of my fave actresses] and the last line of the movie said " Every story has an end, but in life, every ending is just a new beginning", and its so true! its make me so excited to see what happens next.....

So a lot has happened since march 21 2008. Kiks came and her birthday was a success it was fun getting to see her even though i saw her a week before in Texas! we had a birthday dinner and all the kids celebrated Easter Sunday together. The next week Happy Valley, every year has this Holi festival called the Festival of colors. You throw veggie color dye in the air and pretty much party. It was a blast! The next week was conference weekend and Whitney and i got tickets from the Bishop for Saturday session! It was Whitney and I's first time. So it was amazing. The Friday before i wore a Hanna Montana wig from Bed, Bath and beyond to a party. Its something to consider trying. Its almost like being someone else for a night! Another thing to consider: spending your days in the BYU library. whats best is to squirt purell into the palms of your hands when ever you see a purell dispenser.The fun part is that on the 3rd floor there is no purell in the purell dispenser so when the purell " comes out" pretend to  "eat" it, people will stare at you strange. Its a blast. That same weekend Whitney and i got into a fight. it was little but very significant. It started out with her telling me I wasn't accepting here because of her use of language and choice of clothing. she said "even though I'm Mormon now i still am going to dress and talk the way i want to because that's what makes me.. me". To her i guess that made sense for the way she was acting, but tell me if I'm wrong, but do the clothes you were and the choice of word make you who you are? It just wasn't making sense so we talked and talked and long story short: we aren't living together in the fall like planned, and i lost a really close friend. Yes we still talk and share past memories, but the close bond was gone. For good? well i don't know. its funny because whenever things didn't happen  way it was suppose to, both of us would say, "its for the best, things happen for a reason"

so today is the first post of my new blog i thought id give it a try. Also its my best friends birthday!! 18 and she came down to Utah for it so rmj.kmd.emd. are going to party!!! That picture I made last year for her and I entered it in a contest and won plus if you click HERE  rate it I can win stuff. so please VOTE. So heres a half update on my life in Utah so far.... I went to Uvsc in the fall and it was great. I made a huge mistake by taking an 8:00 class! Haha but it was still fun. I have had quite the apartment experience. First I lived with a girl whose boyfriend was over there constantly and him spending the night EVERY night. So i got out the first chance I got. The new apartment was ALOT  bigger and I payed the same. Weird. Then its suppose to be 5 girls in the apartments and as of now its just me and Jenna. Boring. She hasnt gotten the concept of living on her own and taking care of herself, meaning, shes a mess and doesn't pick up after herself. tell me if im wrong but when you move out of your parents house, dont you learn how to live on your own or do some people have everything done for them. haha. The boys around here are the same. They either want to get married or just play around. so with that said, I've had no luck. I met this girl Whitney in the elevator and from that night on were became bestfriends. Since Kyria is in other state i need someone help me out. I love her to death. I recently just took her to Texas and of course, as expected she LOVED it lol. Who wouldn't. well i gotta go get my hair done. Im going to try my hardest to keep this thing updated. <3>